Ki Tissa- Faith and God’s 13 Attributes

Our Mussar class recently studied the very challenging, well, challenging to me, at least, middah of Emunah- faith.  Thank goodness our tradition focuses much more on action than on belief.  We have broad latitude about how we see God, how we connect with God, how we question God.  The emphasis is on what we do- the mitzvot we perform, the ways we pursue tikkun olam, repair of our broken world.

In this week’s parsha, however, we see the disastrous consequences that can arise from lack of faith.  Moses is delayed in returning from Mount Sinai, and the people panic, begging Aaron for a God they can see.  The result is the Golden Calf. 

Their anxiety is palpable.  The people can’t live with uncertainty.  They want something they can hold on to. 

The Golden Calf was born of anxiety. Moses delayed. The people panicked. They could not live with uncertainty. They reached for something visible, controllable, immediate. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks taught: “Faith is not certainty; it is the courage to live with uncertainty. It does not mean having the answers, it means having the courage to ask the questions and not let go of God, as God does not let go of us.”

Moses then does something very odd- he pitches his tent outside the camp. He creates what the Torah calls the Tent of Meeting, placing it at a distance so that anyone who seeks God must step outside the familiar.

Why? This may be Moses’ subtle way of helping the people feel closer to the Holy One. Moses understands that the people must feel close to God — not only close to Moses

It is in that setting that Moses utters two of the boldest requests in the Torah. He asks God to “Show me Your way” (Exodus 33:13), and,  “Show me Your glory” (Exodus 33:18).  Moses is trading on the fact that God owes him one, after Moses has sacrificed everything to lead the people from slavery to freedom, not to mention tolerating their whining and wrongdoing along the way.  He seeks guidance on how to lead the people with understanding, as well as a deeper encounter with God.

God responds that no human can survive a direct encounter with God, but, as a consolation prize, if Moses tucks himself into the crevice of a rock, God will pass before him and he can have an experience of the Divine.

In this in-between moment- between the people’s betrayal at the Golden Calf, and Moses’ longing for deeper understanding, God reveals what we call the 13 attributes. This is the only place in the Torah where God describes God’s own essential nature. 

So how does God describe who God is?

“El” — mighty in compassion, giving each creature what it needs.

God’s power is not domination, but sustaining care.

“Rachum” — compassionate.

Our pain is seen; we are not left alone in it.

“Chanun” — gracious.

Even when we have caused our own distress, grace is still offered.

“Erech appayim” — slow to anger.

There is time to return.

“Rav chesed” — abundant in love.

Kindness that overflows.

“Emet” — truth.

Actions have consequences; compassion does not erase accountability.

“Notzer chesed la’alafim” — keeping love for thousands of generations.

Goodness echoes beyond us.

“Noseh avon, noseh pheshah, noseh chatah” — forgiving every kind of failure.

No brokenness is beyond repair.

“Venakeh” — pardoning.

A cleansing that makes renewal possible.

These attributes teach us that while we can never fully know and experience God, we can sense God’s presence by what God does and what God inspires us to do.

Rabbi Ira Eisenstein compares God to electricity: no one has seen electricity itself, but we know it by what it does. When connected properly, it gives light and heat. So too with God. We know God by the actions God inspires in us. When we are connected to the Divine current, we become agents of goodness.

Rabbi Rami Shapiro expresses it poetically-

Angels are another name for feelings.

When we love and act with kindness

We create angels of love and kindness;

When we hate and act with violence

We create angels of hatred and violence.

The Golden Calf created angels of fear. The Thirteen Attributes create angels of compassion.

We live in that same space- between broken tablets and unanswered questions. We crave certainty. Yet faith is the courage to remain in relationship when clarity is elusive. To be made in the image of God is to emulate these attributes- to embody compassion, to exercise patience and control our anger, to hold fast to truth.

We may never see God’s face. But we can experience God’s presence — in forgiveness offered, in patience extended, in justice pursued, in love sustained across generations.

Ki Tissa teaches us that after the greatest rupture can come the deepest intimacy. Between sin and glory is the place of compassion. Between doubt and certainty lies relationship.

May we have the courage to live with uncertainty. May we create spaces where questions are holy. And may we renew our own commitment to express the 13 attributes in our lives and bring a sense of holiness and healing to our broken world.