What is God’s Love Language?

Gold and silver and brass. Blue and purple and scarlet. Plus precious stones and fine oil and fabrics and skins. As this week’s Torah portion, Terumah, begins, God presents a long shopping list to Moses. In the chapters that follow, there are pages and pages of construction details.

The Israelites are settling in for their 40 years of wandering in the wilderness, and they need a place to gather for worship. And God conveys incredibly specific design requirements- the dimensions of each element, what materials are to be used where, every aspect of the design.

It is very overwhelming and very specific. And it begs the question- is this REALLY what God wants from us? Is this the most important thing? Is receiving gifts God’s primary love language? Clearly not. The mishkan, the portable sanctuary, is to be a focal

point for community life. We want to have a place that is beautiful and practical to come together- hence our own hard working Temple Chai building committee- yet we know that God’s priority must be how we live our lives and NOT whether or not our temple is the most magnificent.

So what, then, are God’s ACTUAL priorities? Well, no need to guess on that either- there are lots of texts to learn from. The

opening verses of Genesis offer a clue. Adam and Eve are told not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and they promptly disobey. For better or worse, we live with the consequences of that decision. Knowing right from wrong and, supposedly, having the ability and self-discipline to choose the good, is the essence of what it is to

be human. It doesn’t go well, culminating in God’s frustration with the human inclination to make bad choices and the flood narrative. Following the flood, God becomes reconciled to the consequences of our freedom, and the Jewish way emerges as a guide to how to live a life of meaning, purpose, and goodness. One might even say- holiness, because Jewish life is ultimately about elevating our everyday moments. We do this through the power of blessings and mitzvot, and by reflecting on the words of the psalms (16:8)- “I place God before me always,” or, as the Talmud puts it, “Know before whom you stand.” If we could REALLY feel like we were in God’s presence, how would it impact our behavior? It is the prophet Micah who answers our original question.

What is it that God wants most, beyond beautiful sanctuaries and even beyond lives filled with prayer and ritual. The prophet tells us that there are 3 things that are good for us and that God wants us to do. (Micah 6:8) They are, 1) to do justice; 2) to love loving acts of kindness; 3) and to walk humbly with God. That’s it! Notice that Micah says nothing about lighting Shabbat candles or keeping kosher. Ultimately, the bottom line it seems, is that God is much more interested in how we treat each other than in how we relate to God.

Justice, it turns out, is the top, priority Jewish value. Maimonides teaches that we should not live in a place that does not have a functional court system. Without a fair and impartial judiciary, where people have an expectation of equality before the law, society cannot function. Loving chesed, loving acts of kindness. It strikes me that Micah means more than just that we should behave kindly. Of course we should treat others with kindness. We are made in the image of God, and God’s self-description includes being “rav chesed,” filled with abundant love. Chesed requires actions, and we should not only spend our days being kind, it should give us deep pleasure, we should love when we experience others bringing kindness to our world. Love

chesed. Finally- humility. We are not perfect and no matter the highest standards to which we aspire, we will sometimes, inevitably, fail. We need to forgive ourselves, we need to forgive others, and we need to keep trying to do better each and every day. Among God’s attributes are extreme patience, compassion, and forgiveness. All qualities that

we would do well to emulate. Hillel famously summarized God’s request in just one sentence: “That which is harmful to you, do not do to your neighbor. The rest is commentary, now go and learn! (BT Shabbat 31a) It would be a good place to start.

After all of the verses describing the construction project, our parsha offers a hint that, as important as it is to build this beautiful

space, it is, in the end, not the MOST important thing. In Exodus 25:8 we read one tiny sentence- “V’asu li mikdash v’shachanti b’tocham- Let them build me a sanctuary and I will dwell among them.” We can make our sanctuary as awesome and perfect as we like. But the presence of God does not reside there. Where God really lives is among us, in how we treat each other- with justice and kindness, and in the humility with which we undertake to live lives of holiness.

Let’s renew our commitment to these values as we read Parshat Terumah.

Precious stones