Final Thoughts Before Rosh HaShanah
It’s the final Shabbat before Rosh HaShanah, and our deepest opportunity to look within and ask ourselves if we are ready? Are we ready to change? Are we ready to return to our essential selves, to the sparks of holiness in our innermost soul? The word teshuvah, which we translate as repentance, comes from the Hebrew root, lashuv, to return. It also means “to answer,” as we answer the call to be the best that we can be.
It seems challenging, maybe even impossible. This week’s Torah portion, Nitzavim, depicts the entire community gathering together with Moses for the final time. From the most humble to the most exalted, every age and gender. The Torah suggests that WE were there too, as Moses’ words are intended for future generations as well.
Clearly he is about to share something significant.
So what is this vital message?
Essentially, he says- “You can do it! It’s not all that hard.”
“Turn and listen,” he says (30:8), using the word shuv, turn, the same root as teshuvah, repentance. “It’s not unattainable. . . it’s not in the heavens, it’s not across the sea, . . . it’s very close to you- in your mouth and in your heart.” (30:11ff.)
How appropriate it is to read these words as we truly enter the Yamim Noraim, the Days of Awe, the High Holiday season. We need these words of encouragement that we can make better choices in the year that is beginning. That, in the words of the Torah, we can “choose life, we can choose blessing.”
Rabbi Abraham Twerski works with many Jews in recovery. He tells the story of a young man named Avi who is released from prison and feeling quite sorry for himself. The rabbi invites him to consider the diamond, which begins its life as a dirty stone. With much effort, the diamond is made to shine. “You’re like that dirt-covered stone”, he tells the young man, “and our business is to find the diamond within and polish it until it glows.” Avi’s process of rehab continues for two years.
One day Avi is asked to pick up a sofa which is being donated to the halfway house. As he is moving it, an envelope falls out containing five thousand shekels.
Resisting the temptation to keep the money, he gives the envelope to the manager in charge of the halfway house. The family to whom the money belonged is so grateful that they decide to donate the money to the halfway house. Avi concludes, “When I used drugs, I would get high for a very short time, and when the high wore off I felt terrible, worse than before. It’s been three months since I found that money and every time I think of what I did, I feel good all over again. How different a feeling than a temporary fix.”
A sign now hangs over the entrance to that halfway house, “Diamonds Polished Here.”
I like to think of this as the anthem for Temple Chai and for the work we engage in as a community throughout the year. We support each other in becoming our best selves. And sometimes we need to forgive ourselves when we miss the mark. Forgiving ourselves means recognizing our capacity for the work of repair.
In Parashat Nitzavim, teshuvah we are reminded and encouraged that we CAN do it, that teshuvah is available to anyone and everyone, and that God is on the sidelines cheering us on. We have choices in life, and the parsha concludes with the words- “I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse.” (30:19)
It’s a small Torah portion with a big message.
I’m sure we have all had experiences like Avi’s, moments when we really lived up to our highest vision of ourselves. May the memory of those moments inspire us throughout the year ahead and bring us comfort and encouragement when we miss the mark.